Hello Neighbor provides a wide variety of services for refugees to help them get back on their feet and settle in their new home. One of these services provided is a mentorship program that pairs local Pittsburgh families with a mentee. Through the program, the mentor and mentee pair spend time together, work through everyday obstacles and form a bond between their collective families.
Missy and Joan were paired together back in 2021, after Missy had moved to the Pittsburgh area. Missy is originally from Ethiopia and came to the United States for school. Prior to Pittsburgh, she lived in Minnesota and Maryland. During her time here, she married, had a child and then left the marriage with her son after it turned abusive. She ended up in the Pittsburgh area where her neighbor, who was a refugee, kept telling her about Hello Neighbor.
“Her English wasn’t to communication level but personality wise she was a very good neighbor,” Missy said. “She just kept saying ‘Hello Neighbor, Hello Neighbor’ and I thought she was just saying hello to me.”
Eventually, Missy found out that her neighbor wasn’t saying hello but was telling her about the Hello Neighbor organization. Her neighbor then gave her the case managers name and the number to contact Hello Neighbor.
“I called the number, and there actually was an organization, but it wasn’t big at the time, not like it is now,” Missy said. “Then I reached out to them again during the pandemic of 2020; they weren’t leading or pairing anyone. After a waitlist we (Missy and her son) were paired in 2021 around September.”
When you apply for the mentorship program at Hello Neighbor, there is a questionnaire mentees can fill out to make sure the person they get paired with is the right fit. Missy had asked to be paired with someone who knew what it was like to be a single mother.
As for becoming a mentor, there is an orientation process and training that mentors must complete before they’re paired with a mentee. Joan began mentoring after her friend had done it through Hello Neighbor and really enjoyed her experiences. She encouraged Joan to do it as well.
“I had a friend who had done it and she really enjoyed her experience; she recommended it as something she found fulfilling,” Joan said. “I’m always interested in meeting new people and learning new things, so I applied.”
Joan had never mentored anybody in this capacity before, however, she does mention that she had mentored people through her previous employer.
The Hello Neighbor mentorship program lasts eight months and requires ten hours per month to be spent with one another. Missy and Joan both had no problem meeting those time requirements and hit it off right away.
“We’re like family; my son’s birthday was at her house” Missy said.
Since their time in the mentorship program, Missy and Joan have kept in contact and continue to be in each other’s lives. They celebrate holidays together, eat dinner frequently and have aided each other through everyday mundane tasks like signing your child up for daycare.
When Missy moved to Pittsburgh, she was trying to restart her life post-divorce. She had no friends or family in the area, and through Hello Neighbor’s mentorship program, she found family in Joan and her children.
“I was starting over in Pittsburgh,” Missy said. “At the time I really didn’t have any family or close friends, and because of Hello Neighbor, we were paired with a great family who is really sweet. Joan, her husband and kids everybody is like family, and they love my son.”
While both enjoyed their experiences through the program, they both admitted to individual struggles that can make this program a challenge.
“I’ve had a really positive experience and had the opportunity to meet a wonderful person and her son who I’ve enjoyed spending time with and feel close to,” Joan said. “It is a challenge to get to know somebody who is a different age than you are, have had different experiences than you have, and it takes a lot of dedication on both people’s parts, but it is well worth it.”
“I’ve obviously had a great experience but, in the beginning, I was recovering from an abusive marriage and had really no support at all,” Missy said. “I am very appreciative of Joan for being so patient with me during that time. Sometimes mentors and mentees both have really good intentions but then the other may not understand.”
Besides the communication factor that may be a challenge for some mentors and mentees, Missy also thinks that mentors should go through a culture orientation as well as the other orientation processes to make sure mentors really understand their mentees.
“Overall, it’s a great program, it really changes people’s lives; we have family in Pittsburgh because of Hello Neighbor,” Missy said. “For other people whose English isn’t that good or who don’t understand American culture, I could see how difficult it could be. I think if they [Hello Neighbor] could add culture orientation with little things like gift giving or what’s viewed as disrespectful.”
Joan also agreed and felt that was a great suggestion to help the program continue to grow and move forward.
“Even Americans like to schedule things and that’s just not common in other places,” Joan said. “Little things like that can aid to cultural awareness.”
Joan said she would mentor again if she had more time and could find the right person to do it with. Missy says she’s never thought of becoming a mentor but thinks it could be a possibility in the future.
“I’m very tied up, I’m the only family for my kid in terms of providing or support, I don’t want to take any time from him so I feel like I have to focus on him, but when he grow’s up then I would love to mentor people, especially people who have younger kids trying to do things they just don’t know,” Missy said. “It’s something I’d really be interested in.”
Ultimately, both Missy and Joan have really valued their experiences in the Hello Neighbor mentor program and now say they’ll be in each other’s lives forever.
“I told her she has to visit me in the nursing home,” Joan jokes.
Missy adds, “I told her she couldn’t break up with me; we will always be family.”
